Paradoxically, happiness is easier if you don’t want too much. Ask the happiest people in the world, what their secret is and they’ll tell you this: lower your expectations and be content with what you have.
Research shows that lowering your sights and focusing on the little things can offer a more achievable sense of meaning.
A psychologically rich life is one filled with diverse, unusual, and interesting experiences that change your perspective; a life with twists and turns; a dramatic, eventful life instead of a simple and straightforward one; a life with multiplicity and complexity; a life with stops, detours and turning points; a life that feels like a long, winding hike rather than many laps of the same racing circuit.
Embracing the pursuit of psychological richness can make us less prone to regret: it matters less if the thing you did went wrong. You did it regardless and chalked up another experience. “The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear”.
“Where your fear is, there is your task.” The smarter we think we are, the more cunningly our fears work in the background.
Fear often hides behind intellectualized emotions, a false sense of urgency, hyper-controlling, or constant posturing and perfectionism. Or, on the other side of the behavioral spectrum, being overly accommodating, excessively humble, or too nice for our own good or anyone else’s.
If you haven’t spent time identifying what makes you feel vulnerable, your decisions will be governed by avoiding it. Be led by your values, not your emotions. When your values are clear, courage becomes easier.
What if I realized that I exist within everything around me? I would rejoice when my friend secures the top rank, for her success would be my own. I would celebrate my neighbor’s lottery win, knowing that a part of me is thriving.
I would embrace every situation with joy—even in loss—understanding that while one part of me departs, another is born elsewhere.
With this perspective, as an Atmajñāni—one who recognizes himself as the Ātman—Shankaracharya attains Sama-dṛiṣṭi, the vision of oneness.
He perceives all as equal, recognizing that the same Brahman radiates through every soul. By identifying with the Ātman, he transcends hatred, passion, greed, attachment, pride, and jealousy.
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